Go Back   Natural Game Forum by Zan Perrion > The Main Deck > General Discussion
ZanPerrion.com Register Members List Mark Forums Read


General Discussion
     Women who don't trust men... How can we change their minds (Is it even possible)?)


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-07-2010   #1
thepokemontrainer
Quartermaster
 
thepokemontrainer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: The Johto Region
Posts: 346
Default Women who don't trust men... How can we change their minds (Is it even possible)?)

Maybe this is really obvious to you guys, but lately I've noticed a trend among women. I've noticed that a staggering amount of women do not trust men. It seems like I can't meet a woman who hasn't been cheated on, used, or some other story like that. Some just have straight-up hostility toward men, and prefer not to associate with males.

A few days ago, I met a particularly sick woman. I was with a potential romantic interest. That interest's friend showed up to study with us at our table in the library. She was quite fashionable, cute, but wore heavy makeup, As her friend came, my interest excused herself to go eat for a while. So, I was left alone with her friend. It was the first time I actually got to speak with her friend in-depth. She was nice, and revealed a lot about herself, about her goals and her life, but also a lot about how she didn't like to associate men. She said she didn't like having guy friends and was perfectly content that her friends had boyfriends but she didn't (bullshit). But the very first thing she said to me was "do you like my friend?" I confirmed (nothing to hide, I already told her friend that I liked her and all that jazz). She responded by telling me that my interest had a boyfriend. I wasn't phased at all, and I told her that it didn't matter to me if she did or not, and that I would feel the same anyway. She tried to press it upon me even more, but she gave up shortly thereafter. That was incredibly suspicious. I wondered if maybe my interest had called her friend to try and shake me off her. I doubted that theory because of how attracted my interest was to me (her eyes were doing all sorts of crazy shit). I wondered if her friend was testing me, because I've heard that women and their friends will sort of "test" men who are interested in them to make sure they cut the cake. Well, I passed that with flying colors. I was strong and didn't back down in the least. If anything, I gained an advantage. I also wondered if she was jealous and simply wanted to sabotage me, or perhaps she simply trying to protect her friend. She could have just been telling the truth, but something just felt really wrong with what she was doing that I simply doubted her.

Later, my interest returned and later her friend left to make a phone call. I used that opportunity to talk with her candidly for a while, and I told her that I didn't care if she had a boyfriend or not. I told her that I like her no matter what, and that I want her in my life because she gave me great feelings and that it's rare that someone gives me those feelings. I asked her if she was okay with that, but of course her friend (perhaps sensing something was going on between my interest and I) returned at that critical moment. Damn. Eventually the chemistry died down between my interest and I, and she ended up moving from our table because I was talking with her friend a lot (she was working on a 100-page paper). The friend stayed with me for an hour or so after that but when I mentioned I was gonna go home, she left to sit with my interest.

I kept on interacting with my interest for about a week after that, but I noticed that she was responding less and less to texting and was less energetic in our future interactions. Later on, one of my good friends (who is rather closely associated with my interest's friend) said that my interest's friend has been cheated on a few different occasions. Not only that, but it turns out that this girl has a history of sabotaging her friend's relationships. Her best friend asked people to keep her relationship with my friend's friend a secret until the final stages (probably because she herself had problems with this twisted girl). When I learned of this, I knew instantly that this girl had ruined the possibility of anything happening between my interest and I.

It pissed me off, because I felt it was really immature of her to get in the way of my endeavors. It was selfish and twisted, and it was if she was blaming me in part for her bad relations with the men who cheated on her. It made me wonder what her relationships with her friends were, and I also wondered if I wanted to get involved with a girl with such a friend anyway.

It seems like 90+ percent of the women I meet are like this girl; the kind who don't trust men at all and have a million bloody filtering systems for potential mates. I met a girl who doesn't even have sex with her boyfriends because she thinks that somehow that will compromise the relationship or because she thinks he'll somehow leave and/or hurt her.

My interest's friend.... In all honesty, I sort of find her appealing in an odd way. The complexity of this person... The insecurity... The makeup... The strong social mask... The beauty. Even though she pisses me off.... I must admit that if find her far more interesting than than her friend that I was originally interested in.

I wonder if there's any hope for her. If a woman is betrayed and hurt, it really messes with her. But of course she'll drop her guard eventually... Otherwise, she would be alone for the rest of her life. But it's not like you can make somebody trust you.

I wonder if there is a way to soften a woman's heart... to turn her away from this bias against men.. But can it be done? Should it be done? Sometimes, I wish I could just open up my chest and fill a woman's heart with my intentions, so she could know beyond a doubt that I am trustworthy. But I'm a Pokemon trainer, not Harry Potter.

Also, as a side note, I was wondering when women stop playing these kind of games. It seems like I can't meet any women that have their shit together. It seems like older women (i.e. women 28 and older) don't mess around so much, and start to get a better idea of what they want. I wonder if I should date older women, because all the girls I dated have been 18-24, and I noticed that they are far more erratic than say women who are older than 27.

Your thoughts and opinions are appreciated.
__________________
"Never give up! Never surrender!"

-Ash Ketchum

"You make love like a woman, but you throw like a man"

-Charlie Sheen


"I was NOT flirting! I didn't even tell her that I work in propane!"

-Hank Hill

It is certainly not true that sex is like pizza: good even when it's bad. I'd rather have bad pizza than bad sex. I can always take care of myself after the pizza.

-Ginsengen
thepokemontrainer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2010   #2
guybrush
Gunner
 
guybrush's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Monkey Island
Posts: 82
Default

From my experience i can tell you that if someone is trying to fix or change another (no matter if man or woman) it usually doesn't work out well for both sides.
I agree with Thomas here and think the only thing you can and should do is to simply be a man she can trust. If you're patient and honest eventually she'll open up but in most cases i wouldn't invest too much. Some of them just aren't ready yet and there's not much you can do about it.
guybrush is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2010   #3
peregrinus
Boatswain
 
peregrinus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 184
Default

Really nicely said Thomas
__________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject. Actually, he keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions.
peregrinus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2010   #4
EricJames
Buccaneer
 
EricJames's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 824
Default

Would you want to live in a house with a shaky foundation?
__________________
Isn't it funny when you don't want anything, it get's forced down your throat? Even at a party, dinner or picnic, people are trying to feed you even when you say your full. I had a hard time with this concept a few year's ago when a female friend of mine told me tell women that "I just want to be friends".
-Badboy
EricJames is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2010   #5
Spanish_Key
Buccaneer
 
Spanish_Key's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Walking the earth with my dear companion, music.
Posts: 542
Default

I'm curious about something, have you ever watched Johnny Soporno's free video's off of his web page? The one's explaining Seductive Reasoning?
__________________
"They were curious about me, and I of them, what a beautiful form of communication."
-Albert Maysles
Spanish_Key is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2010   #6
Kevin Stratocaster
Boatswain
 
Kevin Stratocaster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 210
Default

Did you ever consider pokemontrainer that you just walked into this one? Or that your interest stoped getting back to you for other reasons?
__________________
Understanding is a kind of ecstasy. ~Carl Sagan
Kevin Stratocaster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2010   #7
pottergnome
Quartermaster
 
pottergnome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Uhmare-eekuh
Posts: 329
Default

Maybe if men didn't "rule the world" and didn't make all the decisions for women and women didn't feel so limited as it is, we would trust men more!! We need more freedom and proof that we're in good hands...

It's just something that's age old and will always be relevant. Those of similar kind will always trust one another (race, gender, interest, whatever). Not to be racist or sexist or anything >__> But I'd rather it was always a more individual endeavor. But, nevertheless, probably always something we'll all face. And hey, I'm sure there's plenty of guys who don't trust girls anyway.
__________________
"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." - Buddha
pottergnome is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2010   #8
Satyr
The Wild Rover
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Halfway the abyss.
Posts: 6,947
Default

Women that don't trust men?... Personally, as a man I find it insulting to be discriminated like that. Therefore I ignore such narrow-minded women.

BTW It indeed was a childish test I think. Boring...
__________________
Boys are weird. ~ my girlfriend

Last edited by Satyr; 03-08-2010 at 09:23 AM.
Satyr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2010   #9
pottergnome
Quartermaster
 
pottergnome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Uhmare-eekuh
Posts: 329
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satyr View Post
Women that don't trust men?... Personally, as a man I find it insulting to be discriminated like that. Therefore I ignore such narrow-minded women.

BTW It indeed was a childish test I think. Boring...
Actually, a GREAT DEAL of women don't trust men. It's not really a gender thing either, it's on an individual basis too. And women who trust everybody are probably not entirely intuitive, in touch with their instincts, careful, guarded...or are just easy. Haha.

That's a bit of a generalizer to claim any female that doesn't trust a male is narrow minded. Just had enough experiences to know better than to willingly throw themselves at and trust anyone.
__________________
"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." - Buddha
pottergnome is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2010   #10
Kevin Stratocaster
Boatswain
 
Kevin Stratocaster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 210
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by pottergnome View Post
Maybe if men didn't "rule the world" and didn't make all the decisions for women and women didn't feel so limited as it is, we would trust men more!! We need more freedom and proof that we're in good hands...
I am quite confident that there is a biological disposition for women to be cautious. It would simply be untenable for evolution to do it differently.
__________________
Understanding is a kind of ecstasy. ~Carl Sagan
Kevin Stratocaster is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Trust yourself Untamable Heart General Discussion 11 11-18-2009 07:54 PM
Trust issues Chiquita Relationships 19 10-26-2009 11:31 PM
Girl doesnt trust me Reaper Relationships 8 06-08-2009 05:31 PM
Building Trust Online heritageme Online Dating 5 04-23-2009 10:30 PM
Trust issues -Fate- General Discussion 3 05-05-2008 04:22 PM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:48 PM.


Copyright 2014 Alabaster Communications Inc. All rights reserved
Ars Amorata , The Amorati , Casa Amorata , and the Amorati logo are all registered trademarks of Alabaster Communications Inc.